


Only if for a night

by Yellowshoes18



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: AS Roma - Freeform, Home, M/M, Roma, soft Aleks, stephan is so beautiful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24919147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellowshoes18/pseuds/Yellowshoes18
Summary: Set in February 2020, Roma played Gent in the Europa League. Stephan El Shaarawy was spotted in the crowd. Back in Rome for one of the first times since leaving for Shanghai and he's in need of a lift. A lift that comes in the form of Aleksandar Kolarov.Implied/mentions of previous relationship of Stephan El Shaarawy/Lorenzo Pellegrini and hints of Edin Dzeko/Lorenzo Pellegrini.Why aren't there more fics about Stephan El Shaarawy in general? This is a pairing that has always intrigued me and I figured if nobody else will write it, I should.Disclaimer - This is not real and no harm is intended in its creation.
Relationships: Edin Džeko/Aleksandar Kolarov, Edin Džeko/Lorenzo Pellegrini, Lorenzo Pellegrini/Stephan El Shaarawy, Stephan El Shaarawy/Aleksandar Kolarov
Kudos: 5





	Only if for a night

**Author's Note:**

> It always seemed apparent that Kolarov and Stephan got on and I particularly love this photo - https://www.alamy.com/stock-image-rome-italy-31st-oct-2017-stephan-el-shaarawy-of-roma-celebrates-after-164681737.html
> 
> Generally El Shaarawy is just so lovely and I was sad at the lack of fics/attention for him.

Stephan had been so excited at first to go 'home'; back to Rome. His connections still intact, he'd got hospitality tickets for his brother (also his agent) and he to attend the Giallarosso’s Europa League game at home to Gent. Manuel didn't understand why his excitement turned to nervousness the minute they arrived at the Stadio Olimpico. 

He loved it here. This was as close to home (away from his family) as Stephan had ever found and his heart aches terribly the minute he sees the pitch again. He knows that while he catches up with the staff, friends, signs some autographs and goes down to the all familiar changing rooms that his brother will be continuing trying to negotiate his return. For the second time since Roma had sold him, both parties were keen on a January return but unable to find a way to make it happen. It had broken Stephan’s heart when time ran out. 

So if this was home, and returning was what he wanted, what was it that made him shake so much? Was it not quite knowing how his former colleagues would react? Seeing Lorenzo in person for the first time in a while? He decided it was a combination of both of those things. He also couldn't shake the feeling of dread in case this wouldn't be the homecoming he so desired.

Stepping into the changing rooms after the game, a win for Roma, he found himself immediately entrapped within strong, bare, tattooed arms. They threatened to squeeze the life out of him but he wasn’t scared. 

"Stephan!" Aleksandar Kolarov cut an imposing figure at the best of times but especially when he was topless and squeezing you. 

The Serbian leaned in to kiss Stephan on the head; usually the Italian would bemoan his hair being touched but right now he didn't care. He leaned into the hug, hands digging into the bigger man's muscular back, some of the nerves immediately hugged out of him. 

God, he'd missed Aleks. His ever masculine smell, deep voice, smile that was more frequently seen than any fan or media outlet would have you believe. His ability to somehow always know what Stephan needed. His hugs. The way he’d mentored him.

"Hey old man," he said, stifling a laugh but not concealing the ridiculous grin on his face.

Aleks pulled back, hands now either side of Stephan's face, examining him, looking him up and down, another kiss, this time planted on his forehead.

"You look good, still tanned, guess you get sun still in China?"

Stephan nodded at him, swallowed down the lump in his throat at the mention of China. The hustle and bustle of Rome was intoxicating to him, comfortable and something he'd taken for granted. Even being back here in the changing room felt easier than anything he'd done in the past ten months. China had even more hustle and bustle but it only served to make him feel anxious and alone.

"Guys, Steph is here!" Aleks kept an arm around him as he announced it to the dressing room loudly.

Various players, coaches and staff came forward. There were hugs, slaps on the back and warm welcomes from most. Lorenzo Pellegrini was slower to react though and it felt like a small knife stabbed straight into Stephan's heart. 

He was standing, incredibly closely, Stephan thought, to Edin Dzeko. Seeing the pair together made his stomach twist in knots. He and Lorenzo had kept in touch but it hadn't been the same lately. A friendship marred by feelings and Lorenzo's marriage and having his first kid. Stephan hadn't quite disappeared off the face of the earth after their last face to face conversation (surely not an argument?), but China certainly felt like he'd ran as far away as humanly possible. 

Stephan knew it was miles and time zones away but it still hurt when Lorenzo didn't call him so often. Their messages were often short, matter of fact and he hadn't commented on any of Stephan's many Instagram posts. The striker, feeling entirely alone and alienated in Shanghai most of the time, found that documenting things on Instagram helped pass the time. Invited people to comment, to talk to him. Apart from Lorenzo it seemed.

Then there was Edin. Had it really only been a year since that night in SPAL? He sighed. A flashback of being lifted onto a coat peg before Robin Olsen and Fazio pulled Edin back and Aleks had helped him down and shielded him. The horrible words they'd exchanged and how difficult they'd made it for their team mates. If Stephan analysed it now, he realised that was the beginning of the end. Mistake one of several that followed and resulted in what now felt like an exile to China.

Edin and he had met since. Back in November 2019, a European qualifier between Italy and Bosnia; they'd talked, both having had hindsight, space. It had been civil if not different. He thought Edin was looking at him differently, but of course, Edin also knew about Stephan and Lorenzo. Stephan's heart skipped a beat as Lorenzo approached him now. He looked older, but in a good way, a man of responsibility now. Still handsome, just a few more tattoos and a slight look of tiredness.

Better late than never he thought as Lorenzo embraced him. Stephan's skin prickled at the contact. It was a hug that felt familiar. It felt like they'd never been apart and he relaxed his shoulders. Their conversation was brief but it felt more normal at least. Lorenzo only really broke into a genuine smile though when Stephan commented on his daughter. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Aleks had moved next to Edin, the Serbian was no longer smiling, explaining something perhaps? Whatever it was the striker nodded, kissed him on the cheek and approached Stephan.

"Good to see you again Il Faraone," Edin gave him a hug, cupped his head, winked and departed with a, "I have to go do press duty, but maybe I'll see you around?"

Aleks let everybody else catch up with Stephan before he approached him again, fresh out of the shower, he smelled of peppermint and cologne.

"How long are you back for?"

"Manuel's booked our flight to Dubai in two days. My season's done so it's holiday time." 

Aleks mulled that response over, "Do you have plans tonight?" The younger man shook his head, "Great. Let's eat? I know it's late but I'm starving. I'll cook."

Stephan told the Serbian he had some things to wrap up before he could leave but that he'd get Manuel to drop him off at Aleks' apartment in an hour.

*****

"Hey-"

Stephan's voice was muffled by the Serbian pulling him into another hug. Aleks had barely finished opening the door before he'd grabbed the striker again.

"I missed you."

Stephan smiled, choked down a lump in his throat. He'd kept up with Serbian more than some, but Aleks didn't really do social media so it was just text messages. But he'd made an effort, he'd checked on him and showed genuine interest. 

When Shanghai won their trophy, Aleks' text was one of the first to come through. Short but thoughtful.

"I've missed you too. I've missed _everything_ about Rome," Stephan followed Aleks into the apartment. Simply decorated, clean and functional. A couple of little touches of Serbia, very Aleks otherwise. Lots of black.

He gestured for Stephan to sit down on a long, dark sofa before handing him a large glass of wine. For himself, he had just a small amount poured out and placed it on the dining table. 

“It won’t take long, I just need to cook the pasta,” Aleks touched his arm gently and returned to the kitchen.

The room was open plan, so Stephan turned sideways, able to watch the Serbian cooking. The apartment smelled even more like home. His actual home.

“It smells great. I have to rely on Manuel cooking for anything close to authentically Italian. He’s getting better but it’s not the same!”

“It’s nothing fancy, just some pesto pasta and some fish, but I know they’re both local to your hometown, I thought you might appreciate a proper homecoming.”

Stephan smiled at the attention to detail and the defender winked at him, tossing some pasta. Aleks was always so still, so calm. Stephan suspected it came in part from past adversities but he never seemed flustered. When he'd opened the door, it felt like seeing a lighthouse after being caught at sea in an endless storm. Everything else seemed to pale into insignificance.

During dinner, Aleks wanted to understand more about China, the football there, the culture. Stephan would have preferred other topics but the Serbian had gone to such an effort to have him over and cook, so he tried to answer without looking too sad about it. He got to ask some things back, but had to admit he enjoyed hearing the Serbian’s deep Italian so let him do much of the talking. 

After dinner, Aleks ordered him to sit back down and wouldn’t let him help clear the plates and tidy. Stephan enjoyed the dark, sparkling city he could see outside and smiled warmly when Aleks joined him, bringing a strong espresso for them both. They were close enough that their legs brushed one another's.

"Not that I'm not enjoying your company but for you, you're quiet. For a man who rarely stops smiling, and talking, I'm concerned." Aleks sat with an arm draped over the sofa, body angled to make direct eye contact. 

"I-" Stephan’s voice cracked and he couldn’t find any more words, shrugging instead.

He looked down, wanting to punch himself. He'd held it all in until now and here he was about to cry in front of the strongest man he knew. To his surprise, as he tried to suppress the tears building in his eyes, Aleks moved even closer, placing his empty espresso cup on the table. A hand brushed away one of the escaped tears with a frown and Aleks held him. 

"Stephan, why didn't you just tell me something's wrong?"

"And feel like even more of an idiot?" He buried his face into the Serbian's chest. "I didn't want to be a burden."

"Steph…" He took a deep breath, "Cmon, you trust me, what is it?"

"I made a mistake, Aleks. So many mistakes. The way I handled that night in SPAL, leaving it until after the international break to talk to Edin, letting you pick up the pieces, running away to China, running from Lo-...everything."

He choked back more tears, trying to hold it in. He felt pathetic enough already. The Serbian nodded, stroked his hair gently and waited for him to continue.

"I'm so lonely there, Aleks. It sounds pathetic when they're paying me so much money and we got a trophy but...it's not the same. Roma was a family and Rome felt like home. I just feel like an outsider everywhere now."

Aleks stroked his head again, his hair was definitely out of place now, but he didn't think the younger man would complain about this. He looked cuter too when it was dishevelled.

"That night in SPAL? Edin was out of line. He knows it. I protected you and I stand by that decision. Sure, he sulked for a few days but it's not like it's something I haven't seen before," Aleks laughed, "It's Edin. He always simmers down and that night wasn't about you...you were just the wrong person at the wrong time. And China? I spoke to Manuel, he told me you didn't really have a choice so you may as well make some money from it."

Stephan blushed a little at the thought that Aleks had gone out of his way to check on him via his brother.

"I'm just so lonely there. I'm always on my own except for Manuel but it's not fair on him. I really don't want to be alone anymore." 

He sniffled, pressing his head to the Serbian's chest; he could feel the defined lines and curves of muscle beneath the thin t-shirt and it made him feel safe.

"You're not alone, you never have been. And any time you feel like you are, you call or you message me, ok?" Aleks kissed his head.

Stephan leaned up, a faint smile on his lips. He jokingly called Aleks 'old man', despite there only being a six year age gap between them, but moments like this reminded him why. The Serbian was measured, calm and he always knew what to say. It was another thing that people who didn't know Aleks well wouldn't see. And he suited his greying hair.

"Thank you, Aleks," he moved in and kissed him. 

It was just a peck on the lips really, but he let himself linger there, neck craning, and the defender didn't stop him. He actually brought his hand up to Stephan's jaw. Was it encouragement?

Stephan winced as he opened his eyes. He was suddenly transported back to May 2019. It was a similar kiss, he'd initiated that one too, that had sent Lorenzo Pellegrini into a meltdown and virtually burned their friendship in less than twenty seconds. 

He expected the Serbian to push him away, maybe even punch him, but he wasn't doing anything. He was just staring straight back at Stephan, eyes only darting slightly, thinking.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t-” Stephan panicked, “Edin. I didn’t think. I know you two are-”

“Edin knows you’re here.”

Aleks was very matter of fact. His sentence said little but the implications were there. His hand was high up on Stephan’s leg too. Warm, firm, deliberate.

"This is what you want?" Aleks asked, breath hot on Stephan's lips, faces still impossibly close together.

The Serbian's stubble tickled Stephan as he spoke, sending a shiver down his spine as he imagined it dragging over his torso and continuing its journey down his body. He blinked rapidly, unsure of just how to answer. Of what the question actually meant. Regardless, he nodded.

"Steph…?" Aleks' tongue was in his mouth now, slowly feeling its way and luring him into a slow, soft kiss, "Do you want me to stop?"

He needed to answer, to say something. His chest was barely restraining the thumping beats of his heart and he felt dizzy. Was it how hot Aleks looked and felt against him? Was it the lack of contact? 

He'd been in China nine months without so much as a passionate kiss. Say something, he begged his brain but words failed him. Crawling into Aleks' lap with an urgency that awoke everything in him, he managed a shake of the head and it was all Aleks needed. 

The Serbian took control, pushing Stephan down onto the sofa, pinning him there with his body and kissing him again, harder, faster. The Italian let his hands explore, settling on Aleks' lower back, shorts low on the Serbian's hips. Hips that pushed down against Stephan. 

Aleks' own hands grabbed the Italian's and held them down, above his head. He was in charge and that was fine by Stephan. He had enough to do just kissing the defender back and trying to remember to breathe.

Stephan exhaled sharply as the Serbian’s arms swept him up and off the sofa in one motion. One hand wrapped underneath his back, the other pushed them up. Feeling Aleks’ biceps at work made his cock twitch and he was sure the older man had felt it.

Aleks had a height and weight advantage on him, but Stephan was still surprised at just how easily he was being carried by a single colourfully tattooed arm. He’d let his thighs wrap around the Serbian but it was clear he didn’t need the help. Aleks' left hand was firmly on Stephan's jawline, forcing harder, faster kisses. Their tongues were testing boundaries now.

The Italian found himself being lowered gently onto a large bed. Aleks stepped back, looking at him, his eyes were alive, hungry. Stephan's shirt was low at the neck and already undone by an extra button (for fashion) and Aleks' eyes were staring, he seemed unsure whether he was allowed to reach for the buttons or not.

"We can stop if you…"

"I don't want to stop." Stephan helped him along, unbuttoning the shirt and opening it to reveal his smooth, tan chest. "Please, Aleks."

Aleks licked his lips and lent over the bed, muttering something in Serbian. It forced Stephan to look up at him and he hovered above the Italian before he kissed him again. More sensually this time as Stephan whimpered. He put a hand on the bottom of Aleks' t-shirt, tugged it.

The defender laughed at his impatience. He lifted his t-shirt up and over his head. Stephan's hands were on his chest, tracing the tattoos. He'd seen Aleks topless a lot, would be lying if he said he hadn't looked at him before, though never for this long. His torso was always so defined and his tattooed arms seemed to make his biceps stand out even more. The way he always had his shorts or trousers riding so low invited you to mentally undress him. Dangerous.

Stephan surprised himself by daring to lean in and place kisses on the Serbian's chest. Aleks let one hand fall to the back of his head, encouraging the contact, and the other explored Stephan's back. More muscular than he'd expected. Every inch of Stephan's skin was soft, smooth. Aleks wanted to drag his mouth over it all and mark it.

He started with Stephan’s neck, alternating between featherlight kisses and bites. The Italian groaned, arching his back and presenting more of himself. Aleks pushed the shirt off his toned shoulders, replacing the material with his lips. Stephan didn’t know where to put his hands as the Serbian’s lips kissed his shoulders, chest and moved down. The stubble on Aleks’ jaw tickled him, skin prickling with excitement. 

Aleks paused when he got to the waistband of Stephan’s jeans. The younger man’s bulge was level with his face and hard to ignore. Hands made quick work of the belt and then the button and zip fly. The Italian helped shimmy out of his jeans and was surprised at the urgency Aleks displayed in wanting to remove his briefs immediately. Stephan’s mouth quivered as he watched the Serbian’s tongue snake out to taste him. His cock jerked at the contact. His breath hitched as Aleks’ tongue was joined by a warm mouth, taking in his length. 

“Aleks...” he liked how the Serbian’s nickname sounded on his tongue like this, he knew he sounded desperate, needy. He also saw that this was exactly what Aleks had intended.

At the point Stephan thought he couldn’t take anymore of Aleks' mouth around him, it disappeared. He didn’t have time to protest before lips were connecting with his again, the force pushing them both back and down on the bed. The Serbian’s hand reached, taking Stephan’s cock in its grasp, working the skin back and forth. The Italian moaned loudly and unreservedly into Aleks’ mouth.

Stephan let his hands roam over Aleks’ perfect arse. Rounded, firm and impossible to ignore, that was just with clothes on. He’d spied several glances at its bare form before in the showers, never allowing himself to look too long for fear of it making him hard. Now he could feel and look as much as he desired. His hands pushed inside the shorts. The material was thin and he could feel Aleks’ erection straining against his touch.

Standing back up, Aleks left Stephan sprawled on the bed to remove his shorts and underwear in one move. The Italian sat up admiring the view. Thick, strong thighs that led up to an equally thick erection. He leaned forward, maintaining eye contact as he kissed Aleks’ v cut abs. He was desperate to taste the older man, but tried to remain calm. He kissed the smooth thighs, worked slowly before he finally succumbed. 

Aleks’ hands instinctively placed themselves on the back of Stephan’s head. The Italian sensed that if he allowed himself, the Serbian could be very demanding. Right now, he seemed to be comfortable to let Stephan go at his own pace. The Italian took advantage of that, very slowly taking the full length in and letting his tongue drift and swirl over it. 

“Mmm, Steph,” Aleks’ voice was even lower in this state. 

Stephan had settled into a rhythm, taking Aleks deeper with each movement of his mouth. The Serbian didn’t say much, just moaned low and hard in his throat, hands showing their appreciation. One of those hands eventually pulled Stephan’s head upward. Aleks bent down and kissed him again. 

“Do you want me to…?”

The implication of sex was on Aleks’ face. Stephan nodded. He’d wanted it since he’d first stolen that kiss. 

When Aleks stood and moved to a drawer, taking out a foil packet and small bottle, Stephan admired the man’s body again. He could have sworn Aleks was in better shape now than when he’d arrived in Rome, if that was possible. The Serbian returned to the bed, standing over him, taking his time to lean down and kiss him.

“This is definitely what you want?” he asked, lightly touching the Italian’s face, thumb rubbing down the cheek and over his lip.

“Yes,” Stephan whispered, nodding slowly.

He turned inward against Aleks’ lips, moaning when they focused on his neck, the underneath of his chin. He let the Serbian’s arms lay him prone on the edge of the bed and part his legs, lift them. Stubble scratched against his thighs as the defender kissed the insides, preparing himself.

Aleks was slow and gentle as he turned his focus on preparing the Italian. He gulped at how tight the striker was with just one finger and he worked his way up to adding a second, then third. Nodding at each other, Aleks lined himself up. Stephan maintained eye contact as he felt himself being stretched by the Serbian. 

Carefully, Aleks moved his hips, patiently looking for anything on Stephan’s face that conveyed pain. He saw some discomfort, but he also saw desire. He ran a hand through the Italian’s hair as he thrust a little harder and deeper now. The other man moved a little below him.

“If you need me to stop -”

“Harder,” Stephan moaned and sensing some hesitation from the older man, he spoke again, voice shaky, “Please, Aleks. Fuck me harder. You won’t hurt me.”

Aleks' eyes were boring holes into him, checking for any deception. When he found none, he hooked Stephan's legs over his shoulders, pushing himself deeper inside the Italian and let himself thrust with reckless abandon.

The Italian had restless hands. He wanted to touch Aleks, he needed to touch himself, but he was slipping into the pleasure. His hands were on his own face, his hair, drifting back to the Serbian for a moment. He arched up, found Aleks’ lips, both a mistake and a stroke of genius. The defender kissed him back, differently, more intimately now, gentler.

When Aleks came, he pressed his face against Stephan’s neck, nipping and kissing it. He stayed where he was, planting more kisses on the Italian’s cheeks, forehead. He let a hand drift down the tan chest and stomach until it found Stephan’s cock, slick and throbbing. He wrapped a hand around it, not having to do much to push the Italian over the edge.

“Ah, Aleks,” he was breathless, hand wrapped around Alek’s back as he came.

They were still for a moment, Aleks’ eyes checking again that the younger man was ok. He produced a box of tissues for them to quickly clean up and then he laid back on the bed, a yawn escaping his mouth. Aleks’ arm gestured for the Italian to come and join him.

Stephan was silent afterwards as they lay there, legs tangled, bodies atop the sheets, too warm to climb under them. He liked resting his head on Aleks’ chest, feeling it rise and dip. The Serbian took deep breaths, but his heartbeat was slowing again, steadying. The Italian’s hands lingered on Aleks’ body, it felt comforting to feel the hard but warm muscle. It felt more real than most things had in the last year.

“What’s going on in this pretty head?” Aleks asked, letting a hand run through Stephan’s hair. All the gel had worn out now and it sat naturally.

“I was thinking how nice tonight was,” he looked up at the older man, “I’m also wondering why me, why tonight? We never - I, just never thought you would. You have Edin and...”

“Edin and I are anchored to one another, but we’ve both allowed room to drift from time to time. It’s only practical, really,” Aleks mused, leaving lots left unsaid but implying them with a shrug of his mouth. 

His expression made it clear that the Bosnian knew exactly where he was, who he was here with. Stephan realised that with Edin not here, Aleks might have known this was a possibility. Which meant Edin knew too. The Serbian chuckled.

“I didn’t strike you as the naive type.”

“Naive?”

“Stephan, you’re beautiful. I think you know that. I warmed to you from day one. Your energy, that smile,” Aleks traced Stephan’s jaw as it curved up into a smile, “The way you wear your socks stupidly high. I’ve always been attracted to you. You were always looking at somebody else though.”

“Lorenzo,” Stephan replied, conscious not to get lost in a rabbit hole of Lorenzo thoughts again, “He seems really close to Edin now.”

“Mmm.” 

Aleks made more of a noise in response, keen not to get into that conversation. Stephan thought he should feel more hurt at what that implied, but he didn’t really feel that surprised. He brushed away thoughts of Edin in bed with Lorenzo. Didn’t like where that would take him. 

He also realised Aleks saying nothing was to protect his feelings. The Serbian didn't lie but he also didn't want to risk hurting Stephan. The Italian began to understand that maybe Lorenzo and Edin had been closer than he'd thought...and for longer. He tried to mask the sadness on his face.

“Should we not have done this?” Aleks had picked up on Stephan’s expression. Misreading it as regret.

“No, I wanted this...” he pressed a kiss to those lips again, shivering as stubble tickled him, “I wanted you.”

"I'm not just an old man to you then?" He teased.

Stephan looked up at him, let a finger stroke the stubbled jaw line, "Mmm. You're a sexy old man!"

Aleks rolled his eyes, pushed the younger man away playfully before pulling him back against him and squeezing. The Italian relaxed again, caught up in the Serbian's strong arms. They fell into a comfortable silence; Aleks had an arm curved up, letting his hand tangle in Stephan's hair. The striker stifled a yawn.

"Aleks…?" Stephan was sure he was just going to be babbling now, he was too tired, spent and happy for clear thoughts.

"Mmm?" Aleks was still stroking his hair, saw his eyes flutter a little.

"I think in another world, I could really love you. If we'd met at a different time I mean, maybe we could have been the one for each other."

"Maybe."

Aleks held him as he drifted to sleep, mulling over the words. He sent a text to let Manuel know that he'd drop Stephan at the airport in the morning. Looking down at the pretty man in his arms, he let sleep claim him too.


End file.
